The Death of Fighting and the Birth of Faith

I give up! Those are sweet words to the angels in heaven, who rejoice when a sinner is saved. Many times, until we give up God can't really begin to work in our lives.

I was reminded of this in a powerful way at Bible study tonight, where we studied from John 5 about a man whom Jesus healed at the pool of Bethesda. This man had been paralyzed for thirty eight years, presumably waiting much of this time for an angel to come and cure his paralysis.

Our teacher Gene Smith pointed out that there was another significant time of thirty eight years mentioned in the book of Deuteronomy.

"Now the time that it took for us to come from Kadesh-barnea until we crossed over the brook Zered was thirty-eight years, until all the generation of the men of war perished from within the camp, as the LORD had sworn to them." (Deuteronomy 2:14 NASB)

Gene thought that the Jews would recognize his thirty eight years of paralysis as a reference to the time that God denied Israel entry into the promised land due to their lack of faith. At that time the Israelites were paralyzed by fear. God told Moses that Israel must wander in the wilderness until every man of fighting age is dead.

Something in my spirit echoed this thought - thirty eight years is enough time for everything in us that wants to fight, to find our own solution, to use human strength instead of Godly power, is exhausted and dies.

The lame man at the pool of Bethesda had given up too. Perhaps his parents or some friends who had brought him here year after year for healing had finally given up, or perhaps they were just too old and lame to carry him there themselves. This man told Jesus he had no one to bring him to the pool when the angel stirred up the healing waters. The only known solution at that time had failed him, so when Jesus asked him if wanted to be healed, he could only offer an excuse why he couldn't be healed.

Now the miracle could begin. Now this man's heart was tender and open to a different kind of healing, not by balmy waters but by living water flowing through the healing hands of Jesus. Now the wall of human effort was down and the Spirit of God came crashing into his life when Jesus spoke the words, "Get up, pick up your pallet and walk."

Faith was born in his heart that day. Faith to defy the temple priests who stood ready to exile him for picking up his bed on the Sabbath. Faith to accept Jesus at his word, even in place of the "medicine men" of his day. Faith that was willing to look foolish in front of a large crowd that knew him from years of struggling in this place. Faith that expected a miracle and caused him to rise in obedience and receive the healing touch from Jesus.

Pastor Gene told an amazing story of evangelism and healing when he was traveling on a mission to Brazil. The testimony of healing in one of his mission services led to an opportunity to testify before the president of one of the regional provinces, resulting in many conversions inside the capitol building.

In third world countries miracles are much more common and expected than in the modern world. I think this is because the wall of human effort is already down. The people are already "poor in spirit" so faith finds an open door in their hearts. There is no human solution to their problems so they have to rely on the power of God. I spend most of my time planning and implementing my own solutions to my own problems. I think if I want to experience the true power of God I will need to let these "men of war" in my own life die.

Aaron's God

Shortly after Moses led the nation of Israel out of Egypt, Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and 70 elders went up on Mt. Sinai and to see God. He was standing on pavement that had an appearance like clear blue sapphire (Ex. 24:9). These men had a close encounter with the eternal God, yet God withheld His consuming fire and allowed these men to eat and drink and return to their camp in the wilderness.

A few days later while Moses was still on the mountain, the people of Israel came and told Aaron to make a new god to go before them. Aaron did not hesitate or council them to turn back to the one true God, but immediately used his God-given gift to fashion a molten idol from their gold jewelry.

It's hard to believe somebody with great authority like Aaron could have a direct, personal encounter with God and then turn away to false gods so quickly. What happened to the "Angel of God" who was sent to lead them through the wilderness into the promised land? He did not leave them; they simply weren't following. You see, the people of Israel weren't really following Christ, they were following Moses. When Moses was gone, it became apparent that they didn't really have true faith.

I've had extended times in my life where I was only living to please Christians, instead of living to please Christ. It's pretty hard to tell the difference from the outside, but during this time I knew on the inside that I had become weak in faith. Like the children of Israel I spent years wandering around the wilderness following whoever I was with on that day of the week. I even encountered God directly at times, but my mind quickly wandered back to my wilderness, and my heart and spirit gradually grew cold.

Aaron didn't have a strong personal faith in God, and he allowed Israel to stray into idolatry, even making the very idol that brought God's wrath. Yet by God's mercy, Aaron remained the high priest and patriarch of the Levitical priesthood. Aaron and the rest of Israel were under the covenant of the law. Moses and his protege Joshua were under the covenant of grace. In a manner of speaking Aaron's god was Moses, who kept him under the bondage of the Torah law until the age of grace came to all men through Jesus Christ. With the exception of a few great men and women of faith, the entire nation of Israel was under this law of sin and death.

I think God sometimes allows godly men like Moses to be drawn away from their followers to separate those who are following God from those who are following men. It is times like these that test our faith and reveal whether it is built on an everlasting foundation. When I finally realized that I was following men and not God, I became desperate to find a deeper personal faith that could not be shaken. Praise God, I think I found it!

Dying in the Wilderness

I had a dream.  It was a troubling dream.  I found myself in the middle of a desert, lost.  I wandered seemingly endlessly searching for a way out, through one scene after another of bleak lonely wilderness.  Then I awakened.  It was 1976 in my garage apartment in Waco where I was enrolled in college.  I still remember that dream and the disturbing impression left on my heart.

Some time later the Lord put a song on my heart.  The song was about a man who knew God but lost his way and returned to the world. This song continued to haunt me through my years of wandering.  Many times the Lord reached out to me and touched my heart with new songs and fresh understanding of His Word.  But the warning reminded me - continue to wander and let the world harden your heart and you'll come to an end like the miserable old soul in this song.

A few years ago my father passed away while I was away on business.  The tremendous weight of this experience caused me to become desperate for God.  I asked for Him to give me the faith I needed to become truly free from the world.  That is when I started to die.  By that I mean that I began to lose interest in the things that took me away from God.

A few months ago one of the associate pastors at my church spoke about Joshua leading the nation of Israel into the promised land.  Through him God showed me what had happened to me over those years of wandering.  More than thirty years of my life was wasted pursuing wealth and fulfillment in the world while gradually losing touch with God.  Like the children of Israel, God had taken me out of Egypt but there was still a lot of Egypt left in me that had to die in the wilderness.

Thank God I now see the green fields of the promised land.  I know now that as long as I bear this "body of sin and death" I will still need to die daily, but I also have the spirit of Christ giving life to my spirit, and the spirit of God giving life to my mortal body!

Let me also say that Jesus' parable of the sower has been fulfilled in me (see Matthew 13).  Some of the seed (the word of God) fell by the side of the road while I was a young skeptic.  Some of the seed fell on sandy soil, sprouted early but perished because it had no depth of root.  Some of the seed fell on thorny soil and was choked by my years of wandering in the cares of this world.  And some of the seed has fallen in good soil, deeply rooted in me and about to bear eternal fruit!

Does any of this ring true with you?  Are you lost in the wilderness?  There is still a way out, if you are still alive and able to call upon Jesus.  He will NEVER give up on you.